⏳ Read Time: 4 min, 900 words

New here? Read about the BETTER Team and Mission here.

And not only is it out, but in its first week, our book hit #1 on Top New Releases in the Sports Category! Really cool to see coaches getting and using our manual, built by and for coaches, to lead themselves first!

Haven’t gotten your copy yet?

If you’ve been around athletics long enough, hopefully you’ve met, been around, or observed a coach like this:

They never seem rushed.
They don’t feel frantic.
They’re rarely the loudest voice in the room.

They show up with the same level of presence in August as in February.
Win or lose, they’re steady.
Busy, yes. But they almost never seem overwhelmed.

It’s a stark contrast to the chaos that it appears most coaches are in. We’ve gotten to be around a handful of coaches that operate this way in the past few years. They are consistent sources of inspiration for us at BETTER, and we take every opportunity we can to learn from them.

When we sit with them, we will pepper them with questions.
What’s interesting is that most of them aren’t doing more than everyone else.

They’re just doing a few things quietly and consistently that protect their energy, their clarity, and their sense of self. Most of the time, they’ve done it so long, or it comes so naturally to them, that they aren’t even really aware that they do it.

These habits that these coaches have built will never trend online.
They wouldn’t sound impressive in interviews. People won’t write coaching or leadership books about them.

But they’re the reason some coaches build long, meaningful careers when so many coaches burn out early.

Research across leadership psychology, sport psychology, and organizational behavior consistently shows that sustainable performance is driven less by raw effort and more by regulation, clarity, and alignment.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman and colleagues found that leaders who regulate their emotions create more stable, high-performing environments. Their work on emotional intelligence shows that a leader’s emotional state strongly influences team stress, trust, and decision-making — a phenomenon known as emotional contagion. In other words, leaders don’t just set strategy; they are a driver for the culture of the team.

Sustainability in any leadership pursuit, whether for a coach or athlete, isn’t about toughness. It’s not about grinding harder or caring less.

It’s about alignment.

The coaches and athletes who last don’t disconnect from the work. They routinely connect their work or performance to healthy outcomes.
They remind themselves that it’s an expression of their values. They know their why — and coaching is their outlet to accomplish it.

In short:
The quiet habits work because they reduce friction both internally in who they are as a person (alignment) and externally as a leader and coach.

1. They regulate themselves before trying to lead or motivate others.

They don’t outsource their emotional state to the scoreboard. Before addressing their team, staff, or athletes, they check themselves first:

They understand something simple:
My leadership creates the environment in which everyone else performs.

2. They decide what actually matters and ignore the rest.

Sustainable coaches are ruthless about priorities.

They don’t chase every metric, opinion, distraction, or perfection.
They define what this season, this week, and this day require and ignore the noise.

Clarity isn’t a luxury in today’s sports landscape. It is one of the truest forms of leadership.

3. They protect their recovery and energy like it’s part of the job.

They don’t treat rest as a reward for good work. They know it’s a responsibility.

It’s never in the form of long vacations or perfect balance. But, they are intentional with their rest. Depleted leaders coach in survival mode.

They make it a priority to have their battery full for their team.

4. They stay anchored to who they are.

We chose the above words carefully. Because no coach chooses to be something they are not. It’s a response to the moment.

It takes intentional steps and discipline to make sure you are who you say you are in every moment that coaching throws at you. They’ve planned for the pressure moments. They know who they want to be.

They don’t react. They prepare to be who they were meant to be. They lead from identity.

5. They play the long game with people.

We wish we could put that in billboard-sized letters. They don’t manage relationships transactionally. They are committed to people for the long term and their long-term development.

They invest early. They communicate early. They repair quickly when issues arise.

They know trust compounds.

These habits aren’t flashy. They won’t go viral. They won’t make you look impressive in the moment.

But they do something better.

They help you:

The loud habits get attention. The quiet ones build careers.

And in coaching for impact, that difference is all that matters.

Get BETTER’s Culture Playbook. A system designed to install a thriving, healthy, high-performance culture. Join over 1,000 coaches who use our Culture Playbook from youth club teams to national championship NCAA programs and everything in between.