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A Series: Optimizing Your Health Pt. 5

One of our core ideas at BETTER is that healthy leaders create healthy teams.

So - we are doing something a little different with our newsletter. This is the fifth in a 6-part series in our newsletter on “Leader Health”.

The core thesis of this series is an idea we call “100X”. If you are as close to 100% healthy, you won’t have to try to lead, it will happen. Your health will multiply (“X”) into those around you. We’ve examined, and will examine, what we, at BETTER, consider to be the pillars of Leader Health. We’ve looked at:

1. The 100X Idea: How your health multiplies into your team

2. Purpose: Aligning your values with Action

3. Self-Awareness: Understanding how tendencies drive behaviors

4. Physical Health: Building routines that cultivate peak mental performance

And this week?

The Idea: Relationships that Fulfill

Today, we dive into the intricate world of relationships—their influence and their necessity—for us to be as close to 100% healthy as we can be.

Research Insight: The Power of Relational Dynamics

If you’ve been in and around coaching in the last decade, there is an idea that has been gaining popularity in understanding the impact of Relational Dynamics in a team: BELONGING.

This is an idea that took off based on the work of Social Psychologists Roy F. Baumeister and Mark R. Leary in their 1995 paper titled “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.” As the title suggests, they posited that humans have a basic psychological need to feel closely connected to others and that this need is as fundamental as the need for food and water.

Among many others, some of the most notable findings for leaders are as follows:

1. Effects of Belongingness: A feeling of belonging is linked to positive emotional patterns and cognitive processes. Conversely, the absence of social belonging produces a variety of ill effects on health and well-being

2. Impact on Behavior: Much of human behavior is influenced, either directly or indirectly, by the need to belong.

3. Quality over Quantity: Although having a social circle is important, the quality of relationships is more important than quantity. Deep, meaningful connections are more important than numerous superficial ones.

In essence, there is clearly a human need for belonging. The people in your life contribute to your health in innumerable ways. But, there is so much nuance to belonging that it requires a certain level of self-awareness to know how that belonging is feeding you as a leader.

Then, as a performer leading performers, how do you help others find this for themselves?

Anecdote: Phil Jackson’s Relational Alchemy

Phil Jackson, renowned as the "Zen Master" of basketball, carved a niche for himself not just for his strategic prowess on the court but for his emphasis on deep, personal connections with his players. Jackson's leadership was transformative, and much of his success with the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers can be attributed to his understanding of the intricate web of relationships.

In his memoir "Eleven Rings," Jackson shares insights into his coaching journey, emphasizing the significance of his relationships with players like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. He believed in the power of one-on-one interactions, where he sought to understand his players beyond the game. For instance, Jackson and Jordan would discuss books and philosophy, which fortified a bond that transcended the basketball court. This personal connection empowered Jordan to trust Jackson implicitly, leading to a dynamic partnership that garnered six NBA championships.

Phil's approach to Kobe was different; he engaged Bryant's intellectual curiosity and fierce competitiveness. By forging a relationship that acknowledged Kobe's unique personality and drive, Jackson guided him to five NBA titles. Phil knew that these stars powered the team's success, but only if their individual energies were harnessed through a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.

Notice how Phil didn’t take the same tact with each of these all-time NBA greats. He connected with them in a personal way that met their specific needs and desires.

These key relationships illustrate Phil Jackson's mastery in using individual connections to fuel team synergy, underscoring the fact that knowing his players on a deeper level was pivotal to his strategy as a leader.

Putting it All Together

The research above coupled with Phil Jackson’s example displays the importance of both “informal” and “formal” connections. We have a need for deep, meaningful connectedness in our life informally, and outside of our work. That contributes to our health. But, that belongingness doesn’t just turn off when you are with your team (formal).

If you want to maximize the impact of your team, multiply your influence (100X), just like the example of Phil Jackson, leaders must think intentionally about building that belonging into their teams.

But, how?

Fostering Fulfilling Relationships:

1. Self-Reflection: Engage in regular self-reflection to understand your relational needs. Everyone is different. What does 100% health in your relationships look like for you, both formally and informally?

2. Personality Assessments: Utilize tools like the 5 Voices Assessment (what we use at BETTER) to better understand team members’ relational preferences. Want to use 5 Voices? Reach out to us!

3. One-on-Ones: We cannot stress this enough. One-on-Ones are essential for formal relational health. Schedule regular one-on-one check-ins to build trust and understand relational needs.

4. Team Retreats: Organize team-building activities that cater to various interaction styles, ensuring everyone feels connected. Again, this is something we, at BETTER, help teams with. Just ask!

5. Open Forums: Think strategically about how to create safe ways for team members to express their thoughts and feelings. People feel they belong when they feel their voice is valued.

Closing Thought: 

As always, knowing yourself is the first step in building belonging in your life. As leaders, our task is to use this self-awareness to adapt our relationship-building strategies, catering to the diverse ways in which our team members are fueled by their connections. The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our teams. Know what you need from the relationships in your life, then fight for that for your people.

2024 Schedule

As mentioned above, there are plenty of ways to get involved with us at BETTER. Whether it’s a 5 Voices Workshop for your team or a keynote, we are already filling our schedule for the Winter and Spring! If you're interested in having us inspire and engage with your team, email us at [email protected]. Secure a slot now and ensure your leaders or athletes receive the guidance and motivation they deserve to maximize their mindset, leadership, and performance!

We want your feedback!

If an idea resonates with you, you have a question, or you just want to say hey - feel free to reach out to us at [email protected]

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The BETTER System

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