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What’s in this newsletter?

• The Big Idea: Success isn’t about avoiding obstacles; it’s about working reframing them.

• 🦸‍♂️ Anecdote: What a journeyman golfer can teach us about feeling stuck.

• 🔍 Research Insight: The Neuroscience behind self-preservation

• 🎯 Practical Takeaways: 5 ways to train your brain when feeling stuck.

⏮️ The Idea: How to Deal with Feeling Stuck

I’d hazard a guess that most reading this newsletter have never heard of Andrew Wiles. Wiles is a Fields Medalist (think Nobel prize for math) awarded for solving Fermat’s Last Theorem.

Given that this newsletter is about leadership, I’ll save most of the story of Fermat’s Last Theorem for our corresponding math newsletter (sorry, the math major in me is slipping through 😉). However, it is one of the greatest mysteries in Academics and Math and is a fantastic story in and of itself.

Wiles won the Fields Medal for solving this famous theorem that generations of mathematicians had tried and failed to solve since Fermat died in 1665. Wiles figured it out in 1993.

That said, here is one of the arguably most intelligent people ever describing what he thinks it means to be smart.

What a profound idea. As a math teacher, I experienced this nearly daily in the classroom. Students put a cap on their ability because they get stuck and think something is wrong. They expect it to be easy. When it’s not, they sabotage themselves and assume it’s because they “just aren’t good at math.”

How many of us have said something like that about ourselves? And not just math. We are all guilty. We’ve put our own cap on our ability.

We get trained to think that being good at math (or anything) means you are fast at math. We are convinced that being smart at anything means that it comes naturally.

Wiles shares an entirely different perspective. He describes the ability to deal with the fear, self-preservation, and helplessness that comes from feeling stuck by choosing to keep going.

Well, I believe that one of the best places outside of math for young people to learn how to do this is — you guessed it — sports.

So, what does this idea mean for our leadership, and how do we cultivate it in ourselves and those we lead?

🦸‍♂️ Anecdote: Celebration Time - A Story of Resilience

You might’ve missed this unless you're a die-hard golf fan. But there was an incredible story this week in golf.

Josh Teater, a journeyman in the golf world, missed keeping his PGA Tour status at Q-School last December. In fact, he didn’t advance far enough in Q-School to achieve status on the Korn Ferry Tour (essentially, golf’s minor leagues). He considered hanging it up. But he got a sponsor’s exemption to play in the first two Korn Ferry Tour events this season.

Three weeks ago, he had to get up and down from a bunker to make the cut. Who knows, if he misses that cut, with no promise of any future events, maybe it was the end. But he made the putt and the cut. He qualified for the next event. Three weeks later (this past Sunday), he picked up his first win in 16 years.

We’ve had the pleasure of working with Josh since last July. We got connected to him through our connections at UGA Golf. We met him during last season amidst a rough stretch, performance-wise.

In fact, I (Seth speaking here) got to have lunch with Josh when he was driving through Atlanta on his way down to Q-School in December.

For regular readers, you’ll know that we detailed the process we take golfers (and individual athletes) through in a series in our newsletter at the end of last year. Well, Josh was one of the first golfers we took through this process.

He taught us a lot. And maybe he picked up a few things from us.

So, like most of the golf world, we were celebrating on Sunday — cheering for a guy who’s been through a lot and has a heart of gold.

But Josh’s story highlights that sometimes, the best thing you can do is show up. When we get in a spot where we feel stuck, it’s so easy to tinker — to try everything. It’s easy to scratch it all to start over from square one.

What Josh said at that lunch in December is the same thing he texted me before his tournament last week. “I’m just trying to keep getting better at controlling what I can control.”

So, really, what we have to do in that moment we feel stuck is double down on what makes us, well……us.

But, the fact is that you learn and grow the most in those moments when you feel stuck than when things are going well. Remaining yourself and choosing to show up is just as much a determinant of your ability as any talent you possess.

How do we become the best version of ourselves? What disciplines must we practice daily to be the best golfer, person, and leader we can be?

🔍 Research Insight: The Science of Resilience

Psychologists have studied resilience for years, and the findings are clear: learning and development are far more about persistence than raw ability.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who actively work through frustration and uncertainty develop stronger problem-solving skills and perform better over time than those who rely on natural ability alone. Ask any coach who their favorite player to coach is; nearly everyone starts their story with, “Well, they weren’t the most talented kid I coached but….”

When you’re in that moment of feeling stuck, we move into self-preservation. That’s why most blame the math or the task. “It’s too hard.” This is a defense where people shield themselves from the truth. They don’t want to admit they might be unable to do it because they aren’t cut out. We can see that as a challenge or something to run from.

Neuroscientists have studied this moment and seen what our brains do. When we view it as a challenge, our brains release testosterone and adrenaline, which urge us to approach the task head-on. When we feel threatened, our brains release more cortisol, making us feel more anxious and avoidant.

In essence, we want to train our brains to see everything as a challenge—an opportunity to learn—especially when we feel stuck. And it takes exactly that: training.

🎯 Practical Takeaways: 5 Ways to Push Through When You’re Stuck

1. Reframe the Challenge: Instead of seeing obstacles as barriers, view them as necessary steps in the growth process. A setback doesn’t mean failure—it means progress is happening.

2. The “Next Play” Mentality of Leadership: When you feel stuck, what’s the next smallest thing you can do to keep momentum? You don’t have to finish the task or the problem, take the next step.

3. Lean On Your Team: Even the best performers rely on coaches, teammates, and mentors for guidance. When you’re stuck, seek insight from those who’ve been there before.

4. You’re Not a Prophet: No one can predict their development. Mastery requires repetition, frustration, and time. Remind yourself that improvement isn’t linear, and like Teater, double down on your process.

5. The Small Wins Philosophy: Train your mind to handle pressure by setting and achieving small, incremental goals. Sometimes, you get to win the tournament. But sometimes, just making the cut is the step you need right now. Each success strengthens your ability to tackle bigger challenges.

💡Closing Thought: Stuck is a Part of the Process

Whether you’re solving equations, coaching a team, or leading an organization, moments of being “stuck” are inevitable. What separates those who succeed from those who don’t isn’t intelligence or natural skill—it’s resilience. How you handle those moments determines how far you go.

So the next time you feel frustrated, uncertain, or ready to quit—remember Andrew Wiles, Josh Teater, and the neuroscience of resilience. Stay in the fight. Push through. The breakthrough might be closer than you think.

BETTER’s Solution to Coach Development

As a part of our work, we lead cohorts of leaders. It’s just one meeting a month with a topic, some homework, and sharing about how it’s going. But it’s powerful. Many of the coaches and leaders in our cohort express the following sentiment:

“I wish every coach got to experience this on some level.”

So, we thought, why can’t they?

As a part of what’s next for BETTER.

We are launching a community around the Culture Playbook.

Until now, the Culture Playbook has been something you buy and then get. We wanted it to be so good and affordable that every coach in the country could access it.

From now on, leaders will receive the Culture Playbook as part of a guided community led by Kevin and Seth.

If you’ve enjoyed our newsletter, imagine a community where we will take you and others through a deeper level of how to install the systems for yourself, athletes, or other coaches. You can ask us questions directly. We can guide and share discussions, share ideas, and get feedback.

We will host monthly calls, and every coach will have direct access to us. We will lead guided discussions and encourage coaches and ADs to share best practices. We want it to become the absolute best resource for all things Culture Development, both at the program and department levels. Over time, we will continue to add content, resources, and offerings. You’ll get discounts on future products that the public won’t get. And no, the price is not changing.

We’re targeting a public launch in early January, offering newsletter readers early access and a 25% discount. Fill out the form using the link below, and we’ll send you a link to get started.